Waves You Might Have Missed

With all this whining done on a certain local surf forum about the dearth of waves to be had lately, we at The Sewer Pipe were amazed that nobody - except myself and a certain Wookie - took advantage of the blessings brought by the wind, this weekend.

No waves you say?

Who says?

The Buoys?

Fuck the buoys!

The Box of Lies?

Fuck the Box of Lies!

We can assure that there indeed were waves this weekend. You're probably wondering how we know this. How did we find waves during the summer doldrums?

It's a big secret: You have to go out and look for them. Sometimes you have to get up really early and go out and look for them.



Avon Waves, early Friday morning.



Waves at an undisclosed location in the Eastern Basin, Saturday. (Photo courtesy of The Lake Chewbacca)

So, stop your whining. Take those buoy readings and weather reports with a grain of salt. A little time, a little $2.75 gasoline, and a positive attitude, and you too can be scoring waves when everyone else is sitting around playing nut-ball.

We Have A Winner

The Sewer Pipe would like to congratulate Stevie The Masked Man Dalpe, for being quite convincingly voted by you, Cleveland surfers, as Cleveland's New Star Surfer.

We were quite surprised here at The Sewer Pipe. We were sure that The Wookie or The Labia would dominate this contest, and even imagined a scenario where some upshot from the off the radar might burst in and take this cherished (and only) honor in Cleveland surfing.

But, in the end, when it's all said and done, moves and style are what win surfing contests, and this one was no exception.

The Results:

Stevie: 3-votes

Luke: 2-votes

Mikey: 1-vote

Vince: 1-vote

Donny: 1-vote

There were other suggestions which we'll accept as nominations, such as The Rod (Trademarked), Rich Stack, Rick Guest, Mongo, and MK Ultra, but in each case, the nominator named several people, but did not cast a vote for any single one.

Unfortunately, we weren't able to reach Stevie to give him the news, or get a quote from him on how it feels to be stepping into the legendary Johnny Santosousa's wax. But we did manage to contact some of Cleveland's other Midwest-renown surfers, to get their take on Stevie's win:

The Rod (Trademarked)

"Who the fuck won what?"

Lake Chewbacca

"No comment."


Scott Ditzenberger

"Way to go, Stevie! We knew you could do it! You always had my vote, even though I didn't vote. Out Of Place is proud of you! I hope you'll come to my movie on the 24th at the Cedar Lee. It's only ten bucks, and though you're not in it, it's won a lot of awards and stuff, and its got Vince in it!"


Lord Mongo

"Who the fuck won what?"


Luke The Kook


"Winner, huh? We'll see how much of a winner he is with two broken legs."

There you have it folks. Looks like it's going to be an interesting year out there. Now, all we need are some waves.

Sewer Pipe - The Blog

Unlike most things in our complicated, overly-slick, processed, pasteurized, and carefully marketed world, surf breaks tend to be both simply and aptly named. This is not because surfers are simple, or apt, but because like other underground cultures, a shorthand that is difficult for outsiders to decipher is always preferred.

Sewer Pipe, as a Cleveland surf break, is as simple and descriptive as it gets. It's defining physical feature - besides the sometimes sweet shoulder-high barrels it can deliver in 30 mph or up south west winds, as the turgid, cold, shit-brown waters of Lake Erie pass over the underwater rock shelf that acts like a Midwestern reef - is the 10' diameter sanitary sewer relief outlet, that without warning can dump untold thousands of gallons of toilet water directly into the break.

It's the Cleveland "Pipeline." And that comparison is more accurate than a non-lake surfer might appreciate. Like the real thing, Sewer Pipe is usually a left. And in the scale of Lake Erie waves, which is not at all impressive in ocean terms, Sewer Pipe is also Cleveland's biggest wave. It is also Cleveland's most dangerous wave. Though nobody has ever died there, the combination of a big, fast moving wave, with a short period, the rock shelf, assorted underwater concrete debris leftover from the 1800's bathhouse that used to occupy the site, as well as the occasional sunken refrigerator or stove, has added up to injuries not usually associated with Lake Erie surfing.

And, like The Pipeline, for us unfortunate souls condemned to the hell that is Cleveland surfing, from October till the lake freezes over for the winter sometime in the early months of the year, in spite of the poop, and the dangers, Sewer Pipe is The Place to be.

Sewer Pipe, as surf break, represents both the best, and the worst of Lake Erie surfing. It is my intention that Sewer Pipe, the blog, will do the same.

Of course, "Sewer Pipe" is just a name. And I have no intention of restricting this blog only to it. If it has to do with Lake Erie surfing or culture, from the surfing to skating, to music, to movies, and of course the people, art and social events, Sewer Pipe, the blog will do it's best to take at least a poorly-aimed , drunken jab at it.

Think of it as a small, half-ass, on-line, Surfer Magazine for the rest of us.

So sit back, and enjoy The Sewer Pipe. Where everything that has to do with lake surfing will eventually flush out.

Photo: The Lake Chewbacca, being different, and taking an unusual Sewer Pipe right.