The Sewer Pipe

Practice Rounds

2011-10-17T19:18:00.003-04:00

Don't give up hope, yet.

Yes, you worked all day, and the only thing that kept you going was the anticipation of carving some of those 7 ft. waves that NOAA said would be there when you got off work.

Instead you found, well. . . this.

Think of it as a practice day for the big stuff that's on it's way later this week.

Most of you need the practice.

Cover Photo: Marcos The Magnificent, and The Stackster sharing the joy at Sewer Pipe this afternoon.

Ups & Downs

2011-10-16T10:38:00.003-04:00

Was it that good yesterday? Depends on who you talked to, and when they were there.

If you were there and decided it can be described with a certain over-used word that begins with an "E," then you weren't there when The Sewer Pipe was, or when anyone else was either.

It had it's ups and downs, and occasionally it was pretty damn good. But it was pretty damn shitty just as often.

But don't worry. There's more coming.

Cover Photo: Mikey liked it.

Sad Things

2011-10-02T19:12:00.005-04:00

Unrequited love; a dead puppy dog; a lost balloon, out of helium, and drifting on the waves; the republican party.

These are some of the things that make us here at The Sewer Pipe sad. To that list you can add the waves we had this weekend. In an age of doppler radar and weather satellites circling the globe, you'd think NOAA wouldn't be able to get our hopes up anymore, just to smash them against the rocks at Edgewater like Stevie Wonder's broken dreams of joining the pro surfing tour.

But this is Cleveland. We should be used to that by now. So buck-up, enjoy what you had, and remind yourself, there's always going to be a next time.

"Holy popcorn, Batman! The string monkeys are laying eggs now!"

A Little Bit Louder Now...

2011-10-02T00:22:00.008-04:00

Another cold, gray day, another set of meager, messed-up waves.

But they say the third time is the charm. So we will see what tomorrow might bring.

Cover Photo: The Lake Chewbacca, on one of the bigger foamballs of the day.

(Click to see bigger)

How Low Can You Go?

2011-09-30T18:43:00.007-04:00

Crushing, wasn't it? To see that buoy pegged at 5' then to arrive at Sewer Pipe to see nothing more than knee-high boat wakes. Hey, that's surfing in Cleveburgh!

Others knew better and traveled to secret domains in the Eastern Basin. But we're not all born with a wookie's magical meteorological prowess, so some of us had to make do with dancing The Limbo on a longboard.

Better luck tomorrow. And if you show-up and the waves are that lackluster again, you can put down the board, put on a pair of gloves, grab a trash bag, and instead participate in Surfrider's "One Foot At A Time" clean-up at the Sewer Pipe, which starts at 11:00 a.m. To participate be at the upper lot pavilion at the appointed time; be sure to back your car into your parking place, so that the parking attendants will know you are there for the clean-up! And then just wait in your car, and someone will approach you and inform you how you can be of service.

Cover Photo: Thanks for the warning!

2011-09-26T20:14:00.004-04:00

Taking Back The Waves

2011-09-16T06:56:00.011-04:00

No more lifeguards. No more fat, West Virginia hill-billy women tanning on the beach in their polyester stretch pants. Not even The Underwear Guy was at the beach, yesterday - it's too cold for them all.

It was time to take back Our Waves. And a fine job Cleveland surfers did, from lake legends like The Rod (trademarked), to newbee's like Matt with the blue board, who also came very close to saving The Sewer Pipe's photographer's life yesterday - Thanks!

Intentional Media Whoring.

Unintentional Media Whoring. (anyone got the link to the video? It was Fox 8)

Turnin' Tom really shreds.

He shreds so much that he makes that Stevie guy look like a butter knife.

Surfers sometimes get "air." String monkeys, like unicorns, butterflies, and other magical creatures can actually fly!

Pay very close attention to this man. He's about do something extraordinary.

In fact, if Turnin' Tom had been around when we held that contest for Cleveland's New Star Surfer. . .

Mushballs or not, a wave is a wave, is a wave.

Ron just got his first ride! Do you remember your first ride? I remember mine. Do you think I'd be hanging around the beach photographing you retards all the time if I didn't?

And now, The Sewer Pipe proudly presents, the classic, soft, sweet, intimate wave-riding stylings of Steve The Warrior.

Happy people with paddles.

Don't get in the G-Man's way. He'll cut you!

This guy is so bad ass. Don't you think he's bad ass?

Take away his strings and what do you have? Surprise! He is a surfer!

And now for something completely different...

The Rod (trademarked) says, "Dude... Can I like borrow that air pump? One of my tires are a little low."

Cover Photo: (click it to see bigger)

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of shore
And danced on Erie's poop-browned waves;
Canada-ward I've paddled, and joined the tumbling pee-water
Of condom and tampon infested mushballs, — and done five or six things
No one with any sense would do— stinkbugged and pearled and snaked
Far off in the sunlit silence. Floating there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager board through bacteria filled walls of foam. . . .

Down, down the long, walls of dark brown
I've stuck my head in waves
Where never cod, or ever walleye swam —
And with a retarded mind I've ridden
The low little meager waves
Put out my hand, and touched a big brown turd.

-By J.A. Yanak (with apologies to John Gillespie Magee, Jr.)

Leftovers

2011-09-08T17:13:00.008-04:00

There wasn't enough room for all the pictures from Wednesday on yesterday's edition of The Sewer Pipe, so we thought we'd throw them up here.

They will have to hold you for a while, because there's nothing in the forecast for the foreseeable future.

It was a great day for catching a big, clean wave.

Or for taking a nap.

For a change, you didn't look like a moron by showing-up with a short board.

But you might still have to eat some shit for it.

It was a day to try to snake a friend.

Or clean-out your shorts.

Believe it or not, this guy came all the way from Santa Barbara to get a taste of our pee water.

If you think people have been exaggerating how bad the paddle-out was, this should settle any doubts.

Cover Photo: What the world looked like yesterday outside your cubicle. Click it to see bigger.

But Usually "Epic" Means Big

2011-09-07T21:41:00.009-04:00

We're not going to say a word, except to say that we don't have to; the pictures tell the whole story. And if you were so hard-up for the filthy lucre that you went to work when the buoy was reading Eight Feet, then you totally deserved to miss this.

You think shit like this happens every week here?

And don't forget to have some of The Leftovers!

Cover Photo: The Rod (Trademarked) says, "Dude! I can't believe you fucking missed it!" Click it to see it bigger.

It Doesn't Have To Be Big To Be Epic

2011-09-06T19:36:00.006-04:00

A million Kooks surfed Edgewater yesterday. Sometimes, we here at The Sewer Pipe wonder if there is a whole other set of Cleveland surfers who believe that the only time there are surf-able waves on Lake Erie is on Labor Day.

Yesterday's waves: Big, but messy.

Today's waves: Small, Clean, Fun.

It doesn't always have to be big to be "epic." That word can also apply to waist-high clean, 73-degree waves on a sunny Tuesday, when you and four of your friends have the whole lake to yourself.

"Good morning Mr. Williams. How are you this fine day?"

"Just wonderful. And yourself Mr. Miller?"

The Legendary Oscar Harris, AKA Neal The Eel, in a rare middle basin appearance.

The Rod (trademarked) approved.

He's the only guy anymore that can really keep a short board that far out of the water, for that long. Where were you today, Stevie Wonder?

That's just f-ing Bad Ass.

And you kids think you're so cool with your short boards, that you're hardly ever able to catch any waves with. The Eel demonstrates how it's done.

He could have gone left, he could have gone right. But The Rod (Trademarked) always goes his own way.

Cover Photo: The Lake Chewbacca says it all, without saying a word.

Where The Real Waves Were

2011-08-28T22:32:00.008-04:00

If you asked the average kook, you'd come away with the impression that the only place that waves ever break in Northeast Ohio is The Cove.

At least it seems like that, judging from the inordinate number of boards in the water surfing crappy waves all day at Edgewater.

So where were the real waves?

The Janitor didn't know. . .

The String Monkey didn't know. . .

It seems even Marcos didn't know.

Why are these men laughing?

Because they did know.

So instead of patting yourself on the back and thinking you got yourself a good day of surf, consider the possibility that waves break elsewhere, even on a North, and when you see the big boys pack-up their boards and drive away when you think there's still surf, they probably aren't going home to take a nap.

Cover Photo: The Rod, in all his magnificence, hung-over, and half-stoned, and still showing more style than any mere mortal has a right to possess.

Monday Morning Mystery

2011-08-22T17:56:00.003-04:00

If you blinked you missed it. Marcos didn't blink.

Medium Wednesday

2011-08-10T23:21:00.009-04:00

Earlier was better

Unless you happen to be Future Boy

It was crowded out there

Fucking Kooks

Revenge of The Flying Monkey

Edmund!

Dr. Joe returns to longboarding!

The new lifeguard; Don't piss her off!

Neil got hungry. That bird never knew what hit him!

I saved the wet Labia glistening in the sunset for last!

(not so) Big Wednesday

2011-08-03T23:00:00.006-04:00

Charlie don't surf.

Did you know that Fidel Castro surfs? Now you do.

Snakes in the water.

Watch out, Marcos... he's looking at your butt!

Look out, Neil! You're next!

Dude... she's way too young for you.

Stevel Knievel and his signature cut-back.

Waves You'll Never Know

2011-06-25T18:37:00.003-04:00

Yes it has been too long since we have put something here. But we really didn't think anything has happened lately that was worth putting here.

Mikey fixed that for us, Friday.

He gave us some waves you will never know. Waves you will never see. Waves you didn't even imagine existed.

But The Sewer Pipe knows. Because The Sewer Pipe knows Mikey.

We'd tell you where they were, but we're sworn to silence.

Good luck. Keep searching. There are waves out there. It is only a drought in your own mind.

If you seek, you shall find.

Refund

2011-04-19T21:05:00.005-04:00

Where We Left Off...

2011-02-24T08:54:00.005-05:00

It's only fair: The Surf Gods cheated us last year. What we looked forward to as a possibly Epic Winter thanks to La Nina, turned out to be another Cleveland disappointment, with The Lake freezing over, almost as if it was some kind of sadistic X-mas present intended to make one feel even worse about being a Clevelander.

If that's possible.

But now strange things seem to be happening for a late February. The Lake ice, which we might expect to be with us well into March, seems to be melting and breaking-up.

Is it possible? Surf for March? We at The Sewer Pipe won't make any grand predictions: Stick your weather models up your ass, NOAA; don't you know the End Times are near?

But we will offer a sacrifice this Saturday at the 4th Annual Smash Day, by burning alive the current issue of Surfer Magazine, in the hope that it will appease the mighty Lake Gods, and bring us what we have longed for for so long, that it all seems like a half-remembered dream.

Some scenes from not the last session, but the last session that we here at The Sewer Pipe didn't throw the film straight from light table and into the garbage can. We've been saving them for you, just in case by this time you might have forgotten what a fun day at The Sewer Pipe was like:

That Should Heat Up The Lake

2011-02-05T22:19:00.002-05:00

Posted: 02/05/2011
Last Updated: 4 hours and 18 minutes ago

By: Associated Press

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich - A Canadian agency on Friday approved sending a shipment of 16 scrapped power generators with radioactive contents across three of the Great Lakes, turning aside objections that the risk of an accidental spill was too great.

The Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission said it would grant a transport license to Bruce Power Inc., which plans to send the generators -- each the size of a school bus -- to Sweden for recycling. The company says the shipment will be safe and its plan is ecologically sound.

"We always believed this was the right thing to do to reduce our environmental footprint and we are pleased the soundness of our case has been verified," said Duncan Hawthorne, president and CEO of the company, which is based in Kincardine, Ontario.

Bruce Power said previously the shipment would take place this spring. On Friday, the company said it would discuss future steps after obtaining permission from all governments with jurisdiction over portions of its route, including the U.S., the United Kingdom, Denmark and Norway.

The Great Lakes and St. Lawrence Cities Initiative, a coalition representing more than 70 mayors in the region, said it was disappointed and would consider its options for continuing to fight the shipment.

"We feel this sets a very bad and dangerous precedent for the future, especially with the amount of nuclear power around the Great Lakes," said David Ullrich, the group's director.

The shipment would depart from a port on Lake Huron's Owen Sound and traverse Lakes Erie and Ontario, plus the St. Lawrence River, before reaching the Atlantic Ocean.

Each of the 100-ton generators has about 4,200 metal tubes that contained hot water, which created steam that powered electricity-producing turbines. Thirty-two of the boilers were taken out of service in the 1990s.

Bruce Power last year awarded a $37 million contract to Studsvik, a Swedish company, to melt down the generators and sell the metal as scrap. About 90 percent of the material can be recycled; the rest will be too radioactive and will be returned for permanent storage.

The company plans two shipments of 16 generators each.

Bruce Power says each generator has less than an ounce of radioactive material and would be welded shut to prevent leaks.

The nuclear safety commission said the company's plan complies with international regulations and poses "negligible" risk to human health and the environment.

Ullrich said the panel's risk assessment was based on assumptions most favorable to the shipment and did not appear to consider dangers in the St. Lawrence River, where water levels are lower than in the Great Lakes. Two vessels spilled oil in the river last summer after running aground, he said.

Lake Erie - As boring below as it is above

2011-02-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

Satisfied?

2011-01-30T19:48:00.003-05:00

Jim Jarmusch's Stranger Than Paradise, 1984

Surf This, Kook!

2011-01-12T19:05:00.001-05:00

We're sorry, but Lake Erie is closed until further notice. See you in the Spring.

The Clean-up Crew

2010-10-04T13:59:00.007-04:00

It shouldn't be, but it happens. Sometimes, even though you think you got them all - even after an Epic Day like yesterday's Epic Sunday - a few waves slip through the cracks, and are still waiting to be ridden the next morning.

That's a job for the Clean-up Crew, Marcus, Stevie, and Joel, who while you were still sleeping, or on your way to work this morning, made sure that no wave was left behind.

Prelude

2010-10-01T15:24:00.002-04:00

Doesn't anyone know how to read a forecast, anymore? If you want to be in your best shape for Sunday's expected first nice NE of the year, you have to make the qualifying session, which was held this morning.

No Mikey, showing-up at Noon to surf the slop that Marcus and Newbomb left you does not count as a qualifying session.

Just scroll down and you'll see what happens when you don't show-up for the game: the damn kite boarders take over our beach.

Splash

2010-09-25T21:29:00.005-04:00

Yeah, Thursday

2010-09-11T07:56:00.004-04:00

Bet you didn't see that coming. Bet you didn't even know you missed it. But Marcos and Ben are a little savvier than your average Lake Surfers, and for a couple hours, early Thursday morning some tasty waves were to be had.

The Sewer Pipe, of course, had it covered for you.

Cover Photo: Ben on a sunrise wave. Click it to see bigger.

Hump Day

2010-09-08T17:30:00.005-04:00

You were absolutely, positively right to stay at work today and make that money. Keep telling yourself that. Besides, they'll still be there at 5:00. Not.

Photo Above: Ben rides a pretty one. Click to see it bigger.

Everyone remembers their first Lake ride. So will Damon.

He's not a beggar, so he can be a chooser.

Mac attack.

Thank you Mr. Gibbons, for flying Long Board Airlines, and we hope you enjoyed your flight.

There was really no excuse for short boards, today. Unless your name is Marcos The Magnificent.

If your name was Stevie Wonder, then you were probably still shook-up from that traumatic drop-in. Yet, we at The Sewer Pipe must ask the question: Is giving yourself a mouthful of Sewer Pipe water, instead of an air, a violation of surf etiquette, or just poor oral hygiene?

That's my board, and yet, I'm not on it. Why? I ask myself, why?

Was It Good For You?

2010-09-05T07:50:00.005-04:00

Sponge-A-Rama

2010-08-27T21:53:00.001-04:00

Ben Mackinnon, New Zealand. from Edward Saltau on Vimeo.

Many don't know it, but one of our great and famous Lake Erie surfers started with nothing more than a little piece of foam under him on those waves. It looks like more fun than short boarding.

Fall Begins

2010-08-23T20:28:00.002-04:00

Forget what the calendar says, it's started. Fall is here. The air is cool, the wind is from the northeast.

You can figure out the rest.

Yes, Sunday was fun. If you missed it, I'm truly sorry for you. You should have thought about that before you decided to:

A. Get married.

B. Have kids.

C. Clean out the garage or mow the lawn on a Sunday with NE winds.

D. All of the above.

E. Whatever other fucked-up thing you did that keeps you from surfing.

The pictures do not do it justice.

That is The Sewer Pipe's fault, not the waves. We won't go into technical details, but sometimes, when you choose to make pictures on film, instead of just being a monkey with a digital camera, mistakes can get made.

You can make them in the water while trying to stay on your board, while being worked by a wave, at the same time you're trying to photograph a surfer, while not loosing your camera to the depths of the cove. You can make more mistakes when you come home, tired after hours of surfing, and develop the stuff for the wrong length of time for the chemistry you are using.

All sorts of shit can happen when you are relying on a human being to make a picture, instead of a collection of 10-cent chips from Samurai Land. All that sorts of shit happened to me, Sunday.

In spite of it, I did at least wind-up with these.

But don't worry. It has only just begun for this year. There is still time to:

A. File for a divorce.

B. Put the kids up for adoption or send them to military school.

C. Sell the house and move into an apartment so you have more time to surf.

D. Enter some kind of ten-step program or find Jesus and fix the mess you've made of your life.

Or, just stay tuned here and next time we at The Sewer Pipe promise to do a better job with the pictures.

Waves You Might Have Missed

2010-07-19T22:19:00.005-04:00

With all this whining done on a certain local surf forum about the dearth of waves to be had lately, we at The Sewer Pipe were amazed that nobody - except myself and a certain Wookie - took advantage of the blessings brought by the wind, this weekend.

No waves you say?

Who says?

The Buoys?

Fuck the buoys!

The Box of Lies?

Fuck the Box of Lies!

We can assure that there indeed were waves this weekend. You're probably wondering how we know this. How did we find waves during the summer doldrums?

It's a big secret: You have to go out and look for them. Sometimes you have to get up really early and go out and look for them.

Avon Waves, early Friday morning.

Waves at an undisclosed location in the Eastern Basin, Saturday. (Photo courtesy of The Lake Chewbacca)

So, stop your whining. Take those buoy readings and weather reports with a grain of salt. A little time, a little $2.75 gasoline, and a positive attitude, and you too can be scoring waves when everyone else is sitting around playing nut-ball.

We Have A Winner

2010-07-13T14:56:00.008-04:00

The Sewer Pipe would like to congratulate Stevie The Masked Man Dalpe, for being quite convincingly voted by you, Cleveland surfers, as Cleveland's New Star Surfer.

We were quite surprised here at The Sewer Pipe. We were sure that The Wookie or The Labia would dominate this contest, and even imagined a scenario where some upshot from the off the radar might burst in and take this cherished (and only) honor in Cleveland surfing.

But, in the end, when it's all said and done, moves and style are what win surfing contests, and this one was no exception.

The Results:

Stevie: 3-votes

Luke: 2-votes

Mikey: 1-vote

Vince: 1-vote

Donny: 1-vote

There were other suggestions which we'll accept as nominations, such as The Rod (Trademarked), Rich Stack, Rick Guest, Mongo, and MK Ultra, but in each case, the nominator named several people, but did not cast a vote for any single one.

Unfortunately, we weren't able to reach Stevie to give him the news, or get a quote from him on how it feels to be stepping into the legendary Johnny Santosousa's wax. But we did manage to contact some of Cleveland's other Midwest-renown surfers, to get their take on Stevie's win:

The Rod (Trademarked)

"Who the fuck won what?"

Lake Chewbacca

"No comment."

Scott Ditzenberger

"Way to go, Stevie! We knew you could do it! You always had my vote, even though I didn't vote. Out Of Place is proud of you! I hope you'll come to my movie on the 24th at the Cedar Lee. It's only ten bucks, and though you're not in it, it's won a lot of awards and stuff, and its got Vince in it!"

Lord Mongo

"Who the fuck won what?"

Luke The Kook

"Winner, huh? We'll see how much of a winner he is with two broken legs."

There you have it folks. Looks like it's going to be an interesting year out there. Now, all we need are some waves.

Who Will Be Cleveland's Next Star Surfer?

2010-07-06T17:07:00.021-04:00

Every town needs a star. Unfortunately our Johnny Santosoussa skipped town on us; in the dead of night, and without a word to anyone!

Since then there has been a tragic gap in the continuity of great lake surfing photography being force-fed over the web to those other pukey lake surfing towns. So much so that they are probably thinking that they actually now have better surfers than we do

We could be like those big pompous mainstream surf magazines and just appoint someone, but the last time we checked The Lake was still a democracy - at least the American side is (west of Buffalo) and we believe that a star should reach his position by universal acclaim, applause, and affection.

So, who will be the next darling of the telephoto. The guy (or gal), (or Wookie) who will represent Cleveland surfing in the eyes of the Lake Surfing media?

The Contenders:

Mike Lake Chewbacca Miller

He's got the skills. He's got the street creds. And no one next to The Rodd (trademarked) himself, can connect a seemingly impossible set of mismatched waves for a longboard ride to the beach the way The Wookie does.

He will pretend he doesn't want it, but the only real question is does he have the charm and charisma to be Cleveland's ambassador of the waves?

Vince V-Zang Labbe

At the top on any short list of the Masters of Lake surfing, The Labia always puts on a show sure to delight the cameras, and unlike his competitors, has a major motion picture deal under his belt to boot.

But with boards to shape, and mountain bike races to compete in, and Out Of Place showings to sign autographs at, will he be there when Cleveland needs him?

Chris Beans Lipsey

He's young and he's new to The Lake, but he's brought with him from Cali a distinct, laid-back longboard style, and an off the waves reputation for pure hilarity and whimsey that goes towards star points if you're counting character, and we are - if you can back it with the moves, and he can.

He's got that certain je ne sais quoi , but can he come up with the bus fair from Akron to Cleveland when the waves say it's time for the show to go on?

James Kimo Moya

Oh wait... Never mind: He moved too.

Ben Haehn

He may think he's been quietly racking up a record of superb riding without anyone noticing, but The Sewer Pipe has noticed the stellar smoothness of this longboarder's technique, and his willingness to surf in the shittiest of conditions. If he was ever vain enough to brag about it, he could probably claim a wave count that would make even The Wookie's numerous hairs stand on end.

But can simple, old-school smoothness and quiet competence garner the votes to win him enough fans to unseat self-created legends and movie stars?

Luke The Kook Gibbons

Nobody does playing hooky from work to surf waves like The Kook. For all the days of work he's missed he probably should be better, but he doesn't give a crap, and that's what we at The Sewer Pipe like to see in a Cleveland Surfer. He's been compared to a whale riding a capsized oil tanker, but that's a non-connoisseur's view of a consistently average ability to surf impossibly crappy waves with an even crappier board.

But can he be torn away from his new gig as The Wild Ferryman of Edgewater long enough to ride waves on a real surfboard for the cameras?

Hawaiian How

You don't see him often, but when you do, he'll show you How it's done on the islands. Longboard or short.

He may not be the first name that comes to your mind when you think Cleveland Surfing, but he's a worthy rival to go toe to toe for grace and style with anyone.

Stevie The Masked Man Dalpe

He's been coming up behind The Wookie and Labia, breathing hard down their necks, with a burning desire to be the go-to-guy of Cleveland waves. He's hungry. He wants it more than a Spitzer Barrel on a warm summer day, or the directions to Chewyland. He's got the moves, long or short, and he knows how to preen for the camera.

But would such success go to his head and ruin a what's looking like a A-1 Lake Surfing career before it's really begun?

Jen Lil Jen Moldovan

Can a girl take on the guys, and wookies, and show them a trick or two? She can if she's Super-Jen. With skater-girl moves learned where it hurts when you wipe-out, this fresh female phenom has been putting on a show to please the beach tourists, and awe the kooks whenever she shows up.

Think she's a long shot? Well she looks better in a bikini than The Wookie, and she can go from goofy to regular foot on the same wave, faster than you can blink.

Donny The Sombrero Man Defonzio

Added by popular demand. Although we've never personally seen him surf, The Sewer Pipe has checked with some of Cleveland's All-Star surfers to confirm that he can indeed do more than camera-whore Plain Dealer photographers on ankle high waves while wearing a funny hat.

Welcome to an elite group, Mr. Sombrero! You've earned it!

Editors Note: We couldn't find an actual picture of Mr. Defonzio, but we figured nobody would know the difference if we just used this one.

Also, Mr. Sombrero presently has a couple pins in his leg from a snow-surfing miscalculation, that may keep him out of the 2010 season.

Do we have a favorite? Maybe. Are we gonna tell you? Hell no!

Cast your votes in the comment section. And feel free to nominate anyone you think we unfairly missed. Voting goes until 4:00 pm Tuesday, June 13th.

Winner becomes the new most photographed poster boy (or girl) (or Wookie) of Cleveland surfing, with all the fame and fortune that follows. Who knows. Maybe a certain Mr. Ditzenburger will even make a movie about them!

Top Photo: Elvis has left the building. The incomparable Johnny, in 2003, carving up what Hurricane Isabel saved for Cleveburgh.

Sewer Pipe - The Blog

2010-07-04T17:27:00.008-04:00

Unlike most things in our complicated, overly-slick, processed, pasteurized, and carefully marketed world, surf breaks tend to be both simply and aptly named. This is not because surfers are simple, or apt, but because like other underground cultures, a shorthand that is difficult for outsiders to decipher is always preferred.

Sewer Pipe, as a Cleveland surf break, is as simple and descriptive as it gets. It's defining physical feature - besides the sometimes sweet shoulder-high barrels it can deliver in 30 mph or up south west winds, as the turgid, cold, shit-brown waters of Lake Erie pass over the underwater rock shelf that acts like a Midwestern reef - is the 10' diameter sanitary sewer relief outlet, that without warning can dump untold thousands of gallons of toilet water directly into the break.

It's the Cleveland "Pipeline." And that comparison is more accurate than a non-lake surfer might appreciate. Like the real thing, Sewer Pipe is usually a left. And in the scale of Lake Erie waves, which is not at all impressive in ocean terms, Sewer Pipe is also Cleveland's biggest wave. It is also Cleveland's most dangerous wave. Though nobody has ever died there, the combination of a big, fast moving wave, with a short period, the rock shelf, assorted underwater concrete debris leftover from the 1800's bathhouse that used to occupy the site, as well as the occasional sunken refrigerator or stove, has added up to injuries not usually associated with Lake Erie surfing.

And, like The Pipeline, for us unfortunate souls condemned to the hell that is Cleveland surfing, from October till the lake freezes over for the winter sometime in the early months of the year, in spite of the poop, and the dangers, Sewer Pipe is The Place to be.

Sewer Pipe, as surf break, represents both the best, and the worst of Lake Erie surfing. It is my intention that Sewer Pipe, the blog, will do the same.

Of course, "Sewer Pipe" is just a name. And I have no intention of restricting this blog only to it. If it has to do with Lake Erie surfing or culture, from the surfing to skating, to music, to movies, and of course the people, art and social events, Sewer Pipe, the blog will do it's best to take at least a poorly-aimed , drunken jab at it.

Think of it as a small, half-ass, on-line, Surfer Magazine for the rest of us.

So sit back, and enjoy The Sewer Pipe. Where everything that has to do with lake surfing will eventually flush out.

Photo: The Lake Chewbacca, being different, and taking an unusual Sewer Pipe right.