How Low Can You Go?

Crushing, wasn't it? To see that buoy pegged at 5' then to arrive at Sewer Pipe to see nothing more than knee-high boat wakes. Hey, that's surfing in Cleveburgh!

Others knew better and traveled to secret domains in the Eastern Basin. But we're not all born with a wookie's magical meteorological prowess, so some of us had to make do with dancing The Limbo on a longboard.














Better luck tomorrow. And if you show-up and the waves are that lackluster again, you can put down the board, put on a pair of gloves, grab a trash bag, and instead participate in Surfrider's "One Foot At A Time" clean-up at the Sewer Pipe, which starts at 11:00 a.m. To participate be at the upper lot pavilion at the appointed time; be sure to back your car into your parking place, so that the parking attendants will know you are there for the clean-up! And then just wait in your car, and someone will approach you and inform you how you can be of service.

Cover Photo: Thanks for the warning!

Taking Back The Waves

No more lifeguards. No more fat, West Virginia hill-billy women tanning on the beach in their polyester stretch pants. Not even The Underwear Guy was at the beach, yesterday - it's too cold for them all.

It was time to take back Our Waves. And a fine job Cleveland surfers did, from lake legends like The Rod (trademarked), to newbee's like Matt with the blue board, who also came very close to saving The Sewer Pipe's photographer's life yesterday - Thanks!




Intentional Media Whoring.



Unintentional Media Whoring. (anyone got the link to the video? It was Fox 8)



Turnin' Tom really shreds.



He shreds so much that he makes that Stevie guy look like a butter knife.



Surfers sometimes get "air." String monkeys, like unicorns, butterflies, and other magical creatures can actually fly!



Pay very close attention to this man. He's about do something extraordinary.



In fact, if Turnin' Tom had been around when we held that contest for Cleveland's New Star Surfer. . .



Mushballs or not, a wave is a wave, is a wave.



Ron just got his first ride! Do you remember your first ride? I remember mine. Do you think I'd be hanging around the beach photographing you retards all the time if I didn't?



And now, The Sewer Pipe proudly presents, the classic, soft, sweet, intimate wave-riding stylings of Steve The Warrior.



Happy people with paddles.



Don't get in the G-Man's way. He'll cut you!



This guy is so bad ass. Don't you think he's bad ass?



Take away his strings and what do you have? Surprise! He is a surfer!



And now for something completely different...



The Rod (trademarked) says, "Dude... Can I like borrow that air pump? One of my tires are a little low."


Cover Photo: (click it to see bigger)

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of shore
And danced on Erie's poop-browned waves;
Canada-ward I've paddled, and joined the tumbling pee-water
Of condom and tampon infested mushballs, — and done five or six things
No one with any sense would do— stinkbugged and pearled and snaked
Far off in the sunlit silence. Floating there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager board through bacteria filled walls of foam. . . .

Down, down the long, walls of dark brown
I've stuck my head in waves
Where never cod, or ever walleye swam —
And with a retarded mind I've ridden
The low little meager waves
Put out my hand, and touched a big brown turd.

-By J.A. Yanak (with apologies to John Gillespie Magee, Jr.)

Leftovers

There wasn't enough room for all the pictures from Wednesday on yesterday's edition of The Sewer Pipe, so we thought we'd throw them up here.

They will have to hold you for a while, because there's nothing in the forecast for the foreseeable future.






It was a great day for catching a big, clean wave.



Or for taking a nap.



For a change, you didn't look like a moron by showing-up with a short board.



But you might still have to eat some shit for it.



It was a day to try to snake a friend.



Or clean-out your shorts.



Believe it or not, this guy came all the way from Santa Barbara to get a taste of our pee water.



If you think people have been exaggerating how bad the paddle-out was, this should settle any doubts.


Cover Photo: What the world looked like yesterday outside your cubicle. Click it to see bigger.

But Usually "Epic" Means Big

We're not going to say a word, except to say that we don't have to; the pictures tell the whole story. And if you were so hard-up for the filthy lucre that you went to work when the buoy was reading Eight Feet, then you totally deserved to miss this.

You think shit like this happens every week here?























































And don't forget to have some of The Leftovers!

Cover Photo: The Rod (Trademarked) says, "Dude! I can't believe you fucking missed it!" Click it to see it bigger.